> I'm reminded of a pop psychology book that I read that essentially said "never try to take someone away, no matter how small, it is perceived as a much larger loss than it is".

That's not just pop psychology. That's straight from "The Prince" by Machiavelli.

  “Injuries, therefore, should be inflicted all at once, that their ill savour 
  being less lasting may the less offend; whereas, benefits should be conferred 
  little by little, that so they may be more fully relished.”

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/6858171-injuries-therefore-...