I truly appreciate the reply. I need to figure out a plan but don't know where to start. Being a self taught dev is harder than I expected it to be. I feel like there is a mountain of information I missed out on from 4 years of uni that I must catch up on. Hard to figure out where to begin

For years I was the "maths guy" at a small software house. And yet I often struggled through the terse mathematical notation that I frequently encountered while researching a given problem. On numerous occasions I had to ask for help on sites such as MathOverflow, and for a long time that really did bother me. All of my coworkers seemed to think of me as some kind of "real" mathematician, and yet there I was, posting questions on a forum like a complete noob. Eventually, I came to the realization that I truly was doing the best I could. Try to learn new things every day and give it everything you've got. That's all you can do!

I was talking to a couple of staff engineers at Shopify about this. Inspite of getting a PhD or getting to their positions, they still suffer through imposter syndrome. They said what you said just now, try to fake it till the end. That's all that you can do