It's the most Googly way of saying "You can't. Fuck off" that I've seen yet.

This is just normal for Google support.

The Google My Business help section is a similar graveyard with people wailing for help but not a single actual Google employee there to be of assistance. That is, unless your thread gets some insane amount of traction but also at risk of being locked

Can anyone at the company respond? Or is it some special support staff?

There’s no support staff at Google, much less special support staff.

No, no one will. Phone support does not exist except for certain services like Ads. Even then, Ads has a recording that says get lost if you're not calling about ads.

You can find random employees on LinkedIn and email them and they'll respond but it won't go anywhere.

Google has support staff for every product, and they are available via chat or phone. The waits are only a couple of minutes.

All you need to do is subscribe to Google One for a nominal annual fee. I've found it pays off easily, and I'll be renewing again.

Even for GMB? Because I will gladly pay money to talk to a human the next time I get banned for the vaguest reason and all appeals fail with no additional information

If by "GMB" you mean "Google My Business", I sort of doubt it, because One is a consumer, end-user product, for individuals and families.

I am sure that if you subscribe to Google Workspaces for Business/Enterprise that they will be responsive in that regard.

But Google My Business (GMB) is for end users? GMB specifically markets it directly to business owners, mom and pop types. They will look _very_ critically if you're a third party as I've experienced.

And it's not just GMB. There are other products that Google just refuses to support in any meaningful way yet are definitely end user. Less consumer, but still end user. One example, Google Analytics. There's GA360 with 24/7 support, but it's $150k/yr. GA360 is also the only way to download historical GA data after a year or so (last time I checked?). Another example, Google Data Studio. which is now... Looker? I guess? What a clusterfuck that was. It and Firebase were so glitchy and lost so much of our analytics. Once I finally got it into BigQuery and then into DataStudio, which I spent way more time on that it should've they wanted to charge us up the ass to continue doing it. So I was told to turn it off.

let me tell you a story:

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=37024236