I can reason that what I'm saying is wrong, but it's how I feel. Some other comments have recommended getting therapy... I have, since I was 18. That's the only reason I'm able to say these things and see myself comically on the treadmill. I'm voicing these things aloud because I figured others might felt lack of permission to indulge in a few hours of physics lectures because of a sense of duty to getting things done

Ps. My kids are 8 and 5.