"Opinionated, not abrasive" is one of the top 5 excuses I've heard from people who just liked to be abusive. You're free to place the border between the two wherever you want. As far as I'm concerned, things like defending not a maintainer's technical choices (which would be fair) but their abusive behaviour, or likening a technical choice with substance abuse or sharing needles, are neither tentative nor polite, "opinionated" though they may be. These are things our industry should have outgrown a long time ago.