4 hours of bullshitting, meetings, an unclear vision, constantly being blocked, anxiety over a lack of productivity was swapped with 9 hours of clear aims, clear goals and hard work.
It was still not sustainable but it felt way better.
It's not like having 4 hours of BS job gives you 4-6 hours/day of free time to go to the movies, gym, spend time with family, cook for yourself etc.
Instead you are tied to a PC bored out of your mind.
The worst thing in life is a lack of purpose and feeling lack of control.
It was easier to put work out of my head in the latter job. Anxiety didn't overwhelm my evenings and weekends. Sunday evenings were restful instead of steeped in anxiety. It felt more like they belonged to me.
When I came home each evening I felt tired in a good way.
Granted I am working a zillion hours right now, but I'm less stressed than when I was working 9-6 but in 5 hours/day of zoom.
Just feels like I am exercising my mastery vs fighting against inertia.