One of the very few “very odd” meditation experiences I’ve had which were not “merely relaxing” was one where I got up and immediately sensed something was different… I did sort of an internal mental inventory/inspection and with some shock realized that my entire fear of death was completely gone. And the thing I must absolutely convey is that this made me aware of a unique perspective, which is that we are all, ever-present with a fear of death, even when we don’t notice it… because EVEN THAT got taken away from me after that meditation. It was… such an odd feeling. And it wasn’t like I was going to angle for death, or anything… It was just… a sense of total peace about it.
It only lasted a few days and was honestly so jarring that it frightened me from trying meditation again for some time after
Everything you've said, and your conclusions echo my thoughts almost exactly. I find myself torn between the absurdity of life and being an sentient monkey in a seemingly endless universe, and then considering the other side, infinite nothingness - or nothing existing at all. Ironically, it seems both of these absurdities have existed at some point.
All I know is that I wake up every day, and life seems to continue as it did the previous day. Channelling Occam's Razor, it seems like this must be real, as everything I experience points to that being true. Until something points to that not being the case, it makes sense to believe it. Maybe if we were a smarter species all of this would make perfect sense.
Thanks again though, I do take comfort in the fact that I'm not alone when it comes to these thoughts and feelings.