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A comment on What do you think is important for relationships to work out long term?. Parent comment

Re:What do you think is important for relationships to work ... by virtualritz on Monday July 03, 2023 @05:02AM (#36570495)
> You’re looking for a pretty unique woman who is willing to dismiss the idea of having children and wants to be in a long term monogamous relationship.

Stereotypes anyone? In my circle of female friends that's not unique but rather the norm.

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Re:What do you think is important for relationships to work ... by Spooky23 on Monday July 03, 2023 @05:25PM (#36579064)
Sounds like it’s not the norm for the dude I was responding to.

Hard and fast filters aren’t good for human relationships.

The point is change it up a bit. Online dating in particular is a business designed to get you pay for online dating. People specify people like they configure a laptop and establish an unachievable vision of the perfect partner.

Imagine discarding a person who was the perfect match for you because she was 5’8” (filter says 5’7” or less) and says maybe kids someday.

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Re:What do you think is important for relationships to work ... by klardotsh on Monday July 03, 2023 @07:52PM (#36580379)
Kids is an extremely big deal, and equating it with height is frankly ridiculous.

Height is a relatively insignificant matter - whoop de doo, an inch or three here or there, whatever.

Kids cost tens of thousands of dollars a year to raise for 18 years and completely upend what someone is able to do with their life - forever.

IMO it's one of the most important things to filter for - two people who want kids are compatible, one who wants and one who is ambivalent are probably compatible, but someone who never wants them (like yours truly) will never - ever - be able to successfully have a long term relationship with someone who actively wants children. It's a recipe for disaster for one or both partners (and if a kid manages to happen, probably the kid too - last thing the kid needs is to be a resented one).

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