As the other commenter noted, the waves where I was really afraid had some combination of shallow reefs or sandbars and strong currents. I’ve had a couple friends break their necks/backs at these places, but on milder days where it’s easy to get rescued and there are lots of people around. When I was in my darkest times I wouldn’t hesitate to paddle out by myself at these spots and take off too early/too late and hope for the best.

Honestly I never rode anything too gnarly, but I definitely was too much of a kook for some of them. Maybe I was overestimating the danger and it was beneficial overall?