I'm also doing everything except dataloader. I can't shake that there's something I don't like about it.

Maybe it's actually a great library, but it feels like I'm giving up control of my queries and letting it run with them.

I prefer to use the batch function and manually resolve the query on my own. It's a little more work but it's pretty easy in the end. And fully controlled.

Same - I hate how the dataloader documentation is so centered around the idea that your dataloader just reaches out directly into your Ecto layer. I always ended up building my own KV implementation of dataloader. Maybe I was dumb, and maybe I was basically just writing boiler plate, but at least I could reason about my GraphQL API and my DB/Repo/Schema separately and just have one use the other.

Just be careful. Dataloader's errors (like many lazy systems) are incredibly difficult to parse. And (last I checked several years ago, may have changed) Dataloader's documentation is very sparse