Re:Tiredness of life: the growing phenomenon in western society
by gumby on Sunday May 14, 2023 @11:00PM
(#35943460)
It being mothers' day, we were just talking about this today. My grandmother was quite active into her 90s (she was delivering Meals on Wheels to "the old dears" into her late 80s).
The problem is she outlived all her friends and her siblings; her youngest friend, whi did survive her was "older" in her ways. My nanna eventually moved into a retirement home and really hated it. She just didn't like being around "old people".
Yet though two of her three kids and all of their children (and thus most of her her great grandchildren) lived close by, she told me it just wasn't the same. "you young people have other things on your minds, and you should". Eventually, as she statred to lose her marbles she decided that was enough at 96.
Also I heard from my mother (a physician, late 80s now) that a huge problem with those who remain in their homes is loneliness: it's simply harder to get out and see your friends, and for them to do the same. People don't drop by unannounced because it's too hard.
Now these examples are from the west (Australia). But I remember my Indian great grandmother complaining that she was useless, and she was aging in the normal Indian cultural fashion. So it feels a bit premature for the article to consider this a western phenomenon. The traditional Indian (and I assume from what I hear, Chinese) model of the in laws, particularly the MIL, moving seems like it simply shifts the burden around.
The problem is she outlived all her friends and her siblings; her youngest friend, whi did survive her was "older" in her ways. My nanna eventually moved into a retirement home and really hated it. She just didn't like being around "old people".
Yet though two of her three kids and all of their children (and thus most of her her great grandchildren) lived close by, she told me it just wasn't the same. "you young people have other things on your minds, and you should". Eventually, as she statred to lose her marbles she decided that was enough at 96.
Also I heard from my mother (a physician, late 80s now) that a huge problem with those who remain in their homes is loneliness: it's simply harder to get out and see your friends, and for them to do the same. People don't drop by unannounced because it's too hard.
Now these examples are from the west (Australia). But I remember my Indian great grandmother complaining that she was useless, and she was aging in the normal Indian cultural fashion. So it feels a bit premature for the article to consider this a western phenomenon. The traditional Indian (and I assume from what I hear, Chinese) model of the in laws, particularly the MIL, moving seems like it simply shifts the burden around.