Also, plenty of people live far away from family and have to deal with death (I’m in the same boat). It sucks but I’m also curious why the obit was particularly important to you because as far as I understand that’s topically just a small blurb in the newspaper? My family doesn’t do obits so I’m curious.
Not to minimize what you went through at all, but it’s interesting in today’s times how we expect so much immediacy. My immediate family escaped the USSR just before it collapsed but my dad’s was family was stuck in Russia and couldn’t leave even after it fell. My father had to deal with his brother, father, and mother dying within 5 years or so with no visits in between that time (a combination of finances + probably fear about traveling back). Comparatively I personally have a much easier time in that I at least get to see my family once a year or so. Again, in no way a comparison as dealing with loss and living far away from family is always hard. Just a reflection of how much technology has changed and made maintaining more closeness easier (eg video calling).
More than a “small amount of legit pain” was the result.