Little known fact! "Whataboutism" is an expression in English which means "I realize your example undercuts my argument, for it reveals it is not based on consistent, defensible principles, so I will just slap a label on it and declare it irrelevant to the discussion."

2 things can be bad at once

Interesting fact - there is a russian word for the feeling you are experiencing - when you feel bad because you understand that your opponent is having a point, you feel bad about it but instead of admitting it you are trying to be sarcastic - it is called "prigorayet" and is always associated with burning sensation just below your lower back.

I'm not trying to be sarcastic, in my experience my definition is actually spot on.

My opinion on the conflict in Ukraine is that one crooked state is fighting another, each side is fighting dirty, and neither side deserves my tax money for it. And I especially will not cheer on yet another conflict that the US has its dirty fingers in.

But calling it genocide is either hysteria or outright propaganda. We're not talking Rwanda here.

For the rest of your comment: get better at modeling your opponents before you psychoanalyze their feelings.