You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You?

Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by rebeccaskinner on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @01:27AM (#35610286)

I think "scared" is the wrong word for it. People in the US tend to have very low levels of contentiousness, and that in turn makes people want to avoid strangers. The most obvious recent example is the push back against masking. In a high population density urban setting, even a few people who aren't adhering to masking raises the general risk level for people substantially. In less population dense areas it doesn't matter as much, because you're going to encounter fewer people. Another example is noise pollution. One of the primary reasons my spouse and I decided to leave the city for a more suburban area (and one of the reasons we're thinking about moving to an even more rural area) is to escape the constant presence of unnecessarily loud noise. Loud music is the major culprit. Between unbearably loud car stereos and loud neighbors (especially when living in an apartment building), low contentiousness means that even in a moderately dense area it's nearly impossible to find a moment of quiet.

It's quite possible that we're in a vicious cycle where low contentiousness causes people to be more isolated and more cynical and that in turn may cause some people to be less considerate of others, but if that's true it's still a systemic problem and at an individual level looking for more isolation is the only reasonable solution.

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Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by nsm on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @02:25AM (#35610591)

Do you mean conscientiousness? Low contentiousness is nearly the opposite of what you are going for

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Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by rebeccaskinner on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @10:01AM (#35614172)

Yep, thanks.

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Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by fallingknife on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @06:47AM (#35612252)

All mask rules should have been lifted the second the vaccine was available without a wait. But the government kept it for another year. Of course we pushed back on that nonsense. Of course we don't trust those government people.

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Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by swozey on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @08:16AM (#35612956)

> it's nearly impossible to find a moment of quiet.

Wild. My experience has been if you live in the city long enough you don't even notice the noise. I've lived downtown for 10+ years in different major cities. There's a building being built directly behind me right now and I hear them all day long and it doesn't even phase me anymore. I'm also on a major drag where people drink all week long and walk around shouting at each other.

I kind of like it over the creepiness of being in a quiet empty house with nobody nearby..

I notice gunshots for sure but haven't heard many (any?) of those in Denver vs Dallas.

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Re:You'd Be Happier Living Closer to Friends. Why Don't You? by vladvasiliu on Tuesday April 18, 2023 @01:44PM (#35617263)

It does take its toll, though.

I've been living in a big European city for more than ten years now. I can kinda forget about the noises surrounding me, but I always tend to feel less tense when I leave for the countryside. And when I get back, sure enough, I hear all the random noises again. Upstairs neighbor dragging a chair when sitting at the table. Other neighbor taking a piss. Neighbor from across, blasting his TV or his kid crying for whatever reason.

There is never a moment of respite in the city. You wake up, you got your neighbors doign their thing. On your way to the office / park / groceries, you got the traffic noise. At the office: the AC hum and useless office chat. On the way home, traffic again. Back home? Neighbors are back, too.

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