Asking for a photo produces something different then just taking it.
Personally the whole dick move thing I don't care about. It's such a minor thing.
I’ve met many such photographers when traveling, yep. They make things worse for all of us.
This is an exaggeration. 99.99 percent of the time nobody cares. Why? Because it's really not a huge deal.
Nobody cares. At most they will be slightly annoyed, but ultimately they forget about it in a minute. A lot of people (like you) are just scared of this slight annoyance, your mind over blows it and your behavior becomes controlled by every small thought other people think of you.
Even in countries where it's not culturally appropriate. Often they're just annoyed because of culture, because they grew up and were taught that it's impolite to take pictures. They aren't in actuality annoyed because nothing really happened... and they forget about it quick. Stop being scared, and stop accusing me of choosing to believe things.
Your accusation is the one that is baseless. Sorry for that.
I agree with just going for it when it comes to asking strangers for their portrait. If you’re friendly and confident (and know how to take rejection swiftly and just move on), you’ll have a 90%+ success rate. (Having a weird old film camera bumps that up even more, in my experience).
However, taking a portrait of someone without their consent in 2023 is just a dick move. This debate has been had so many times under so many angles that you just can’t claim ignorance anymore if you take yourself seriously as a photographer.
A great book I enjoyed recently is Dawoud Bey on Photographing People and Communities.
Depending on where you are in the world and whether you obviously fit in within the cultural fabric or not, people might get very offended/aggressive about it (you deserved it), or not say anything but that doesn’t make you any less of a dick.
Just ask. It can be as simple as pointing to your camera and showing a thumbs up with a quizzical look waiting for a nod in busy situations, it’ll take a second. If the person is performing/selling something/etc, buying/leaving a tip beforehand will help a lot.
If asking scares you so much, that picture isn’t yours to take.