> someone will call the cops for the simple act of a child playing outside without a parent. How do I know? It's happened three times already

"Dispatcher: Please state the nature of your emergency.

Caller: A 4th and 2nd grader appear to be playing some sort of game across the street in their own front yard.

Dispatcher: Are they armed?

Caller: Yes, with a wiffle bat and ball/projectile. A water pistol and/or balloons may have been sighted earlier.

Dispatcher: Thanks, we'll send in the SWAT team again."