Meanwhile I am sitting here with a 5 year old windows/linux laptop and will probably continue using it for another 5 years. It still has a hidpi, HDR, ips display, great keyboard, 16gb of ram, 2tb of nvme storage and weighs the same as a current MacBook pro of the same size.

I highly doubt you can find any $1500+ laptop that is "unusable after 2". I might want to pick up a new one with a 3:2 oled display or more ram at some point, but that is want not need.