Giving kids no autonomy at all has become a parenting norm

Re:Giving kids no autonomy at all has become a parenting norm by pknomad on Sunday April 02, 2023 @10:06PM (#35417687)

This writing kind of confirms what I’ve experienced as a 1st-gen Korean American growing up in New England (so n=1).

I knew my parents meant well when they made sure I studied and did well at extra curricular activities (going to math Olympiad at MIT during summers, playing classical instruments, etc) and that type of “helicopter parenting” yielded good performance… when I had to do something that was highly structured.

But it also meant I did not do well (or was always uncomfortable) when I had to do something that’s not highly structured (basically adulting) and I felt like I had to figure out who I really was at 30 which is not necessarily a good thing.

I’m still thankful that I had parents who cared and tried best they knew how so I don’t really hold it against them, though.

[ Parent | on HN ]

Re:Giving kids no autonomy at all has become a parenting norm by notefaker on Monday April 03, 2023 @12:25AM (#35418543)

Thanks for sharing this comment. I’ve had similar feelings recently, and I came to the realization that all parents will fail to teach their children certain things. Life has a funny way of revealing those areas to us as we age. Part of adulthood is the painful process of discovery and learning for ourselves.

By the way, I think 30 is the perfect age to figure out who you really are.

[ Parent | on HN ]