On the other hand, it might be a lot more possible for a civilization on one planet to win a nuclear war against a civilization on another planet. Same with bioweapons: on Earth it would be stupid to try to use an "enhanced" ebola or COVID or bird flu as a weapon because you'd infect your own people as well as your adversary. But if you're separated by a great distance, that's less of a concern.
In a way, the "dark forest" interpretation is too optimistic. The assumption is that one species will always try to destroy another independent alien species if they find one. But I wonder if it's even worse among members of the /same/ species but different cultures that are separated by a great distance.
Will come? It is here. Have you not heard about intercontinental ballistic missiles?
In that case I have this bad news for you. Multiple actors around the globe maintain the capability to fling warheads at others (through space).
Not sure what you mean by “destroy ourselves”, but our capability of destruction is not constrained by cost/mass in orbit.