This thinking seems self-defeating to me and only serves to uphold the status quo or - sadly - make things worse.

How is looking at reality and making choices that based on that analysis are best for the safety of you and your family self-defeating? You're putting activism into the mix and if you're willing to put more risk on yourself and/or your family to prove a point then it is your choice to do so.

It's not "activism" or "proving a point", it's the prisoner's dilemma. You maximize the global reward (fewest accidents) by putting yourself on the most risky position.

As I state in a sibling above this is not the case it is just how we think as humans. You do a lot more harm to you kids and family by driving them in a car.

I think that is literally the meaning of activism

It's only safer on a per mile basis. Per hour and per trip, driving is more dangerous.

No so clear cut. I almost every city in the world cycling rather than driving will increase your life expectancy. Even when factoring in risks associated with not moving around inside a 1 ton metal box.

Actually being in a car is statiscally more dangerous than doing your commute on a bike, because of health reasons. Accidents are not that important.