I wonder what straightening it provides.

Like when the brick of cheese comes out of the freezer with an obvious bend?

Or like when I don’t make a nice square cut and my sandwich is cheesier in some spots than others?

When you grate the cheese, it often curls a bit. My patent-application-indefinitely-pending cheese straightener uncurls it.

It was a George Carlin joke. Don't remember exactly which monologue, but he was talking about how you can generate a need with advertising.