Some theorize that gay men historically found themselves pursuing the priesthood because this was a way to not have a romantic life with women without raising eyebrows. There’s also an element of repressed homosexuality that’s sort of difficult to communicate but it’s likely that these gay priests spend a lot of time with thoughts of self hatred, self-doubt, confusion. maybe god can save me from these thoughts?, it’s terribly complex and as much as I generally don’t tolerate Catholicism and what comes with it I truly feel for these priests