It can be indirect socialization to boot. Perhaps we have agreed that men don’t have to be the breadwinner. But… what else are they supposed to bring to the relationship?

We can of course say, oh they are supposed to be funny, loving, and do their fair share of chores. But what can only they bring?

I think this could be a driver of insecurity. If not a provider role, we haven’t figured out what alternative respectable roles they could fill, which means as far as culture is concerned they feel useless.