"Imho you have a very idealized perception of marriage that doesn’t line up with the various shades of grey in reality." Let's ignore you calling me naive. Besides that friend I'm not taking this personally at all no matter how many times you want to insist I am. I'm working on a Saturday and killing some time on HN responding to a post with my opinion and some anecdotal experiences. It's generally called conversation. If you would prefer single sentence responses, so be it. I'm going to go weep into my coffee now since you emotionally devastated me. All the best :)