My biggest tip: read up on assorted mating theory and ask yourself what your biggest personality traits are. Communicate those traits.
In my case: imagination and curiosity. I communicate my imagination immediately by going off imaginary tangents. Most people can’t handle it when a horde of take over the conversation and teach calculus to you. Who wouldn’t want to learn calculus from a a capable puppy? :D Some say “haha” to that but magic happens when she chimes in and says “and it’s so cute when they involuntarily bark during their lecture”
Anyway, that’s an example of a tangent and how a positive response to it looks like. I screen hard and make sure I get insane amounts of volume.
If you think my level of thinking is intense, it’s only the tip of the iceberg :)
But my point is: it’s possible, while being yourself, albeit in a strategic way
I got tons of matches on Tinder, quite a lot of dates and hook ups, and relationships. I'm passably attractive but nothing much, just above average. I wrote something a little funny in my bio, put up pictures that aren't: in the gym, fishing, driving a car, smiling while standing at some random place, hiking. What I had was pictures of me having fun, not "expected fun" but where I really enjoyed myself, some extremely silly. And a portrait so people could know exactly what I looked like.
I found two long-time partners and a lot of very fun and interesting dates.
I think it worked because I was just genuine and honestly meeting people who I had a conversation that clicked. Don't think I could ever overthink this that much...
I can relate. I changed myself to become more conventionally attractive, got a lot of attention, got into a relationship with a beatiful woman who, once she found out who I was, didn’t like it all that much. Made me realise how important it is to be very evident about your personality and not try to be someone likeable.
Eventually I realized I was just trying to get laid, or seem appealing/attractive. When I looked at what I was doing, what I was changing about myself, just to get laid, I realized that wasn't the authentic me.
So I changed my profile and put the authentic me, and just a couple random pictures I'd taken recently. Or sometimes just a joke profile that I find funny. Now I get maybe one match a month. When we do match I'm not interested. And that's fine. I'm older now, and have zero interest in sex with someone who I don't like as a person first. And it turns out I'm a picky bastard, and kind of weird, and there's just not a lot of people who find that attractive.
..... on Tinder, anyway. If I go to meatspace and socialize, in the right places, I find the people I really like, and that like me. It turns out that I'm not actually awful; Tinder is.