Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetings going?

Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by j-krieger on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @04:07AM (#34787112)

I wasn't recently laid off, but I quit. In retrospect, my manager handled 1:1 meetings extremely poorly. He always asked me to lay out any aspects that I could improve. I confided in him that I wish I could be more organized, but the amount of work I had made it hard to focus on improvement task rather than problem solving in the code base.

When I quit (due to stress, in a high work load phase of a project), he included my phrases verbatim in my written job reference (these are common in Germany). He literally wrote that I was unfocused and easily overworked. When I complained, he made sure to let me know that the stated issues were just what I told him in our 1:1 meetings. I can only assume malice, since they were really unhappy about me quitting and they expected the project deadline to be missed because of it.

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by patatino on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @04:32AM (#34787237)

I hope you fought back on that. That is a personal attack and nothing more.

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by Archelaos on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @05:40AM (#34787642)

* * *

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by j-krieger on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @07:22AM (#34788340)

> You should have insisted on a corrected job reference and in the extreme case gone to court

I did. The court couldn't do anything for me, because the company had my own evaluation on paper and used those words verbatim. It's genius really, but also pretty damn petty.

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by Femtiono on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @09:08AM (#34789442)

Good to know. Tx for sharing

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by gardenhedge on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @06:46PM (#34797922)

Wow, a lesson in not speaking the full truth to our managers. Thanks for sharing.

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by mejutoco on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @05:41AM (#34787652)

If they reacted like this when you quit I can only say: congratulations for quitting that job.

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by hnfong on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @12:04PM (#34792351)

This sounds like the HR version of "don't talk to the police"... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-7o9xYp7eE

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Re:Ask HN: If you were not laid off, how are your 1:1 meetin... by NoboruWataya on Tuesday February 14, 2023 @12:25PM (#34792713)

That is insane. In my experience explicitly negative job references are unheard of and I think they may even be illegal (or at least legally risky) - a bad job reference would be something like "I confirm he worked here" without more.

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