"there's a sentiment that "natural" smartness and hard-working smartness are two seperate things."

This is a huge problem in the dating market too. "Self improvement" implies that at one point one was a singificantly less high status individual... And that they are at risk of backsliding.

People who are naturally gifted or don't have to try have less risk of becoming unattractive later.

It's sexier, cooler, and more successful to be good at something without trying. I don't blame your kids.