What neighborhood do you live in? It's interesting that this is your experience because part of what is prompting this is getting back from a NYC trip and sort of decided, and this is really shallow, but it was just way too much brick. I just like how buildings look in SF a lot more. Transit is totally better in NYC and probably many cities on the East Coast, but it isn't bad, I can get around without a car and rent one the few times I need it which is basically enough. I also have gotten around the lack of transit by biking around a lot more sense the pandemic which has definitely improved my opinion of the city as well (no crashes yet, though I did have a bike stolen). I think part of the difference is maybe some of the things I care about don't match up with you. I'm not that into food, SF has seemed fine in that regard, though definitely more expensive than NYC for what you get.

edit: and I'll add SF seemed actually significantly below NYC prices now. To get a similar level of apartment to what I have in SF I'd either pay 2-4 hundred extra or move out far enough that it doesn't seem obvious to me I'd have more amenities and public transit within say 30 minutes of me.