This is the hand they have been dealt. The solution is to detach your motivation and happiness from caring about how you are perceived. Not wishing the real world was complicit in your denial of reality. The only person whose opinion on on yourself which holds any weight is your own.

Counterpoint - I've always been unattractive.

One time, me and some other people signed up to volunteer for H4H, to get 1 or 2 college credits, and because it was a cool thing to do, and in my case because I wanted to learn the American way of making houses.

We rebuilt a former crack house. It was actually pretty cool (although I don't much like how American houses are made - they go up fast, but they also are intended to come down in 1 or 2 generations, I'll stick to brick and granite, thanks!). I did my part. Guess who was and wasn't called when it was time to take a picture showcasing all our work. This was before consumer-priced smartphones, so I don't have a picture of that.

> Even in a STEM class, I can't escape being unattractive

Ironically, the men that OP is complaining about almost definitely feel the same way: "even when I go out of my way to be helpful, I can't escape being so unattractive that they professor actually wants to kick me out of class."