"If her hard disk is active for more than a second per hour, or if her CPU utilization goes above 4%, she either
has a computer virus, or she made the disastrous decision to
run a Java program"
Thank you for the rabbit hole, I look forward to the day when I see a scrawl on the wall saying “THE MAGMA PEOPLE ARE WAITING FOR OUR MISTAKES.” and being able to nod sagely whilst others are wondering what aliens wrote this.
(It really is worth a read; James Mickens is indeed a national treasure).
[0] https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/mickens/files/theslowwinte...