I find this refrain tiresome. I grew up in a US suburb and had similar experiences to what you describe outside the US. I mean, yes, there are some suburbs in America that are husks of their former selves due to economics, etc. But I grew up in a small midwestern suburb of a failing city. I had the following:
1. Would regularly walk or ride my bike to the store with my friends to get things at the age of 7+.
2. A vibrant art scene.
3. A plethora of science and learning opportunities including a branch of a well-known University.
4. A walkable downtown with mom and pop stores.
5. 30 minutes from big events like concerts from our favorite rock bands. 60 minutes from famous sports franchises. 30 minutes from the symphony and art museums.
6. 5 minutes in the other direction was rural farmland where you could learn about agriculture, etc.
Older suburbs in the US did have this, and I grew up in one, it is now empty and vacant. Many suburbs I lived in were all bedroom community types with no shops, no sidewalks, etc.
I sort of did find what you’re talking about in the US later on, a newer upscale model of mixed living, it wasn’t bad. It had a lot of chains though and it was very expensive.
So I will definitely grant you it is possible in several regions that to find this sort of lifestyle, it is not easy in some parts of the US or cheap in general (in my experience).
Living in Europe now, it’s been very easy to find these integrated neighborhoods or towns, and they come in all price points.
To be sure there are still bedroom communities, they’re just not even close to as common where we are as they were in the US.
I don’t think this is a radical statement if you just compare gas prices, it is rather organic and obvious why things are this way (and 30-40 other equally important factors contributed I am sure)
1. The suburbs I grew up in had mixed zoning, you had apartments, multi family homes and single family homes in every 5x5 blocks.
2. There were smaller public spaces reasonably located to where you lived. Instead of massive parks for an entire corner of the suburbs, you had a lot of empty lots developed into smaller gardens bustling with neighborhood kids
3. Streets were narrower and the sidewalks were wider
4. Shops and mom and pop stores were part of the neighborhood. Those apartments that I talked about, had cafes and local stores where the store owners knew you and your parents. I remember walking alone to the store at the age of 7 and bringing back stuff my mom needed, without having a phone on me.
The more you make people spend time in their neighborhoods, the more you have a character. If you have to take your car out for every little thing, you spend more time in your car than walking around and knowing people in your neighborhood.