I think your experience is common (it certainly resonates with me) so I’m certainly not trying to contradict you when I say that I think there exist tools to help with the problem you mention - but JIRA is not one of them.

These days, I work on the basis that managing the backlog is actually the management problem that needs solving. With an appropriate tool (I like ProductBoard), I can group together related issues, put my notes on them, and assign them to another developer. That helps them keep the blue light on too.

Most so-called product management tools seem to think that a bunch of cards on a kanban board is all we need. But if the problem was that easy, nobody would have a problem.

I am the management

Judge Dredd vibes, made me chuckle. Kinda like when you are in the flow :

I am the software