Heh no - not really that good. The former ATP 500 player literally lives in my building and hits with a few guys here who he's known for a while (also former college guys who played at the ATP level briefly) and I've been fortunate to be able to jump in on occasion as one of those guys is a good friend of mine who invites me from time to time. Can't say I can really hang at that level for very long. I didn't even play on my high school team!

Football wise, even worse - I just picked up the game playing in college and in local games growing up but was never any good. The ex-United kid quit the sport and moved to the US for school and lived near the local pitch where the pickup matches were held and he would just wander over for yucks. He ran (walked, really, due to his knee) rings around everyone.