I'd have my own share of experiences, so I'll take what you say here at face value. (Though there are a wide variety of experiences).

Given your background, I think you might find Christopher Wallis's Tantra Illuminated -- in particular, the chapter on the View of Tantra -- more sensible. Although it does not talk about wholes, centers, and unfoldings in those terms that Christopher Alexander does.

I think the key is in the non-duality of creator and creation. That within all parts are the Whole. I can't tell from the wikipedia page on Leibniz's monadology if monads are distinct from each other, whereas that stuff about wholes and centers point to apparent distinctions on a continuum that is the Whole.