I'm a developer with children in NYC. If you don't want to live in another state, Brooklyn and Queens are fairly common options for tech folks who work in Manhattan.

Commuting from Brooklyn (which isn't technically another city) to where I work in Manhattan takes about 45 minutes. That includes the walks to and from the subway. It's a quite pleasant commute...I live far enough away that I basically always get a seat on the subway and can comfortably read on my way into work.

If you live closer to Manhattan, the rents go up and the commute gets shorter, but you're less likely to get a seat every morning. Standing isn't that big of a deal, but it makes it tougher to read sometimes.

I'd say 45 minutes each way is pretty easy. 30 minutes and under can be tougher and more expensive to pull off.

Walks to/from the Subway in Manhattan are typically less than 10 minutes, almost no matter where the office is. There's a lot of tech in the Union Square area, which has a ton of subway access.

In Brooklyn, depending on where you live, it can be a bit more of a walk to the subway, but I've never had more than a 12 minute walk and today I can do it in 5.

Thanks very much for the details, that give a much clearer idea about commutes.

Well, it can vary. I can only speak to my own experience. I live just outside the city in Jersey. It's a bus to Port Authority Bus Terminal (located on 42nd and 8th), then a subway ride to work. Total time: 30min. In rush hour: 45min. That's why flex time is nice. Other places in New Jersey you can take the PATH train. That's 15 minutes, and if you work in the Financial District, it drops you off right at the World Trade Center. Usually you wouldn't even need to drive in New Jersey if you're in Jersey City or Hoboken or even as far north as Bergen, if you position yourself near a bus stop.