> Where do those preferences come from? I've seen first hand the impact that media, advertising, and social pressures at school have had on my children's preferences.

Sure, but why is that a problem? Our preferences are of course sculpted by our environment, and that's not a problem as long the people who fall outside of those norms aren't punished for it. Assuming those norms aren't harmful of course, eg. not good to normalize psychopathy.

It's basically inevitable that children are going to exposed to some normative behaviour, particularly around gender. I think the important part is that we're not so quick to denounce and suppress any messaging that exposes children to the existence of behaviour outside of those gender norms, that's when it goes from just existing in a society where gender norms exist to maintaining and enforcing those gender norms.