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Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by ajkjk on Saturday December 03, 2022 @11:53AM (#33844865)
Profuse praise is so weird and off-putting to be a recipient of. I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe this was true however many years ago but it doesn't feel true all the time today.
Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by dghlsakjg on Saturday December 03, 2022 @12:21PM (#33845159)
The man who gave that advice also paired it with being authentic: "Give honest and sincere appreciation."

That advice was actually given in the context of a supervisor or superior working to improve a report: 'Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”'

So in context, its about noticing the things you as a person like about people and vocalizing them, and separately drawing attention to when someone improves. Pretty sound advice

If you read the actual book, its as much about not being a bore, and how not to piss people off. Some people take the advice in it WAY too far, and that's when it comes across as off-putting and inauthentic.

Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by bawolff on Saturday December 03, 2022 @07:53PM (#33849290)
Nothing spikes my anxiety like when my supervisor out of nowhere starts to praise little things that don't matter (especially when the thing being praised is not new and has not changed).

Because you know they took the compliment sandwich advice to heart, and the other shoe is about to drop.

Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by californical on Saturday December 03, 2022 @12:17PM (#33845111)
I’ve apparently been doing this for a long time without noticing. I just like telling people that appreciate them or reminding them that they’re doing well, etc!

Had no idea it had a name or “strategy” associated with it… I just like other people to know when they’re having a positive impact on me (or something else). And people always seem to like knowing that, and get into a better mood in response!

Edit: maybe I’m not understanding the concept very well, and “profuse praise” the strategy is more belligerent than I thought

Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by scatterhead on Saturday December 03, 2022 @12:12PM (#33845050)
It needs to be subtle. So maybe "profuse" is the wrong word.

For example, throwing in phrases like "with your experience, you would know that..." or "that thing you said was hilarious" make people feel good, hopefully while also being true. This is a huge part of likeability.

Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by sdwr on Saturday December 03, 2022 @12:17PM (#33845116)
Yeah genuine praise is just ok, habitual or forced praise is the worst.
Re:Mistaken Beliefs About How Much to Talk in Conversations by coldtea on Saturday December 03, 2022 @12:57PM (#33845566)
You'd be surprised.

Also, if you are of the personality type/disposition that this doesn't work on, don't underestimate the huge percentage of people on which it does work.