We can see for 93^h^h47 billion light years in all directions. That's a pretty big ball-o-space. Plenty to observe.
And if we find ETI, even at distances that preclude ever interacting with them, it will still be the most amazing thing to ever happen in all of human history.
Our observations are millions of years old.
EDIT: Actually, I missed your point, which was that far away things have less history in which intelligence could evolve. This is true, but the amount of history we can observe is still staggeringly large. Far too big to eliminate the paradox.
Someone remotely viewing earth with just a 10k year delay would not be able to measure signs of human life.
They would see exactly what we see elsewhere - nice possibly life-supporting planets, but no signs of any functionality.
Now realize we aren't just missing 10k years but 1000k years (at best).
We are not just looking at the wrong places, we are looking at the wrong times.
The universe is mind numbingly big - try to imagine how big and then quadruple that size and you are still wrong.
Just the observable universe is nearly 50 BILLION lightyears in each direction (there could be more and it's expanding).
(remember the deficit/debt demonstrations of "million" vs "billion")
We are trying to observe the equal of the other side of the world with optical and radio telescopes but essentially the best observations we can make out are just at the range of the doorframe to our home.
What if there is other human-like life but it's a million lightyears away - it's all but useless to us to even find out, they are long gone by the time their light and radiowaves ever get to us (and visa-versa). Now realize the nearest other galaxies are SEVERAL million lightyears away.
Try this on for size http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BjHvwSvpOw