Re:Intentionally Making Close Friends
by zug_zug on Monday November 28, 2022 @01:56PM
(#33777886)
I appreciate you calling this out.
I want to take a step back and generalize a little here, because I think there are a huge number of hypothetical "ideals" we tell ourselves friendships (and families and relationships) are "supposed" to be, but in reality basically never are - and when we hold ourselves to these ridiculously high standards literally we just end up isolating.
For example I think a lot of people act like lying is a huge betrayal of trust, but white lies are more-or-less a social lubricant (even comfort-lies that might prevent the person from growing, like "Yeah it was him/her, not you.").
Another example is romantic idea that we're 100% into 1 person romantically and 0% into anybody else until the moment we break up.
I want to take a step back and generalize a little here, because I think there are a huge number of hypothetical "ideals" we tell ourselves friendships (and families and relationships) are "supposed" to be, but in reality basically never are - and when we hold ourselves to these ridiculously high standards literally we just end up isolating.
For example I think a lot of people act like lying is a huge betrayal of trust, but white lies are more-or-less a social lubricant (even comfort-lies that might prevent the person from growing, like "Yeah it was him/her, not you.").
Another example is romantic idea that we're 100% into 1 person romantically and 0% into anybody else until the moment we break up.