I get one 0.68 match, which... fair enough. It is an account I've abandoned some years ago, no secrets there.

No other hits above 0.5, so I guess that either makes me pretty unique as a commentator or my English is broken in a unique way.

That's why you manually evaluate the matches. And like I wrote in that comment, I did that manual eval, and these clearly are alts of that main account, not spurious. Narrowing down the pool of accounts you'd need to do this kind of manual evals for by a factor of 100000 is a pretty significant change in capabilities.