Without meds, the constant feeling was that life was moving a little faster than me. I has to put a lot of effort just to stay apace, and take a day off means having a day and a half of stuff to do tomorrow.

I don't need meds to live. I need meds not to feel hollow in my soul. If I think about doing something that is meaningful, I need my meds to up and do it. Otherwise it's living the life of someone with really great plans that are unable to leave their head. It is hellish.

Now I have 35 unmedicated years to catch up to.