...which is a fairly obvious observation. "Bad <x> imposes a heavy penalty on team co-ordination" is generalizable.
I recommend you find a way to spend time with someone who knows how to design a quality microservices architecture. It will completely change your opinion about how microservices interact and the supposed "pain" therein.
You have no idea what I do and what my competencies are, yet, you are assuming you know a lot more about system design than I do and I am missing something simple.
Here is another take from Bryan Cantrill [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30jNsCVLpAE&t=1413s]. Very likely, he does not know anything about services either, I guess.
Nowhere did I say, "It is obvious how to design a good microservice." but it seems like you're arguing against that statement, not the one I made.
And for what it's worth, I don't give a hoot who you are, who Bryan Cantrill is, or what your supposed competencies are; make your argument, don't rely on your pedigree to speak for you. That should be obvious.
There is no magical model for this, no buzzword, no single practice, because different businesses and use cases need to be adapted to it. But there's 70+ years of study into methods to do this, and I believe they're taught by all the business schools. It's just nobody wants to do the work.
....On the other hand, nobody teaches MBAs how drastically different tech is than other industries, and thus how you run your "factory floor" has to be different. But the basic principles above should still be applied; they just have to be adapted to the industry and work. What one should not do is just accept things however that industry does it, because they probably aren't doing the above principles either.
This is, by far, the hardest scaling problem in SaaS: How do we divide responsibilities amongst our (code|services|teams) efficiently?
You can only grow each so much before they become unwieldy to manage.
Divide scope too much and communication becomes complex.
Divide along the wrong abstraction and you get duplication, overlap, and confusion about what's responsible for what.
And as time passes, decisions of the past constrain and complicate your options to redesign/rearchitect/reorg today.