> In retrospect I probably saw warning signs that I wasn't compatible with someone but ignored it because I just wanted a match.
I think this is unfortunately what that failure causes. Men particularly are lonely (in different ways than women, see thirst analogy above) because social pressures tend to push us to not be as social. So we crave attention and will stay in bad relationships because the fear of loneliness is greater. As someone who has done this recently, I think it is often hard for us to talk about these things openly (social norms).
Both men and women are seeking validation and are desperate, but just in different ways. I really think an issue is that we're not listening to one another and assuming our realities are very similar. Empathy is one of the real things that make humans unique, but I think these apps remove that component and that's why I dislike them.
definitely the business model is messed up though.
In retrospect I probably saw warning signs that I wasn't compatible with someone but ignored it because I just wanted a match. Maybe that is part of what was happening when I said I found out too late someone wasn't compatible. It's quite possible I was forcing something to happen. I have to think about that, it was months ago now.
You might be on to something describing the need for validation and desperation that happens. It's definitely making decisions with clouded judgement. A part of me thinks that people shouldn't make the matches themselves, they should be assigned after being checked for compatibility and attraction before any chatting happens. not sure there is a perfect way to do this though.