Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by abnry on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @02:17PM
(#33265927)
> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance.
This is a really depressing way of looking at things.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by nineplay on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @02:29PM
(#33266063)
Spend any amount of time among ( let's be honest ) men and you see this attitude over and over again. They "let" their spouse stay at home. The SAH spouse spends all "their" money. The working spouse "supports" the family. There's a constant stream of posts on reddit about how how a working spouse should be able to come home and play video games for hours - they work so hard and deserve a break. Does the SAH spouse work hard deserve a break? What a ridiculous idea. See how often someone complains that they come home and the house is a mess and the laundry isn't done and dinner isn't ready. This isn't the attitude of an equal partner, this is the attitude of a boss. Does the SAH spouse get to review the working spouse's productivity each day? Give them access to the JIRA board and let them start asking why it's taking a week to support a minor version change.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by abnry on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @02:35PM
(#33266159)
The attitude some have of a SAH spouse does not make the definition of a SAH spouse.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by annyeonghada on Thursday October 20, 2022 @01:28AM
(#33271137)
Now spend time with career women and realize that a stay at home dad is not even considered a man worth talking. Women want their vake and eat it too but the one baking it should always be the man.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by chasd00 on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @02:56PM
(#33266402)
>> A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance.
> This is a really depressing way of looking at things.
No, it's not depressing, it's total BS. Anyone who's ever been in a remotely serious relationship knows keeping score like "percent contribution" leads to the end of that relationship.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by lotsofpulp on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @03:20PM
(#33266686)
It is not BS. Financial independence is real freedom. See any and all societies where women do not have financial freedom. People may not keep score, but the women will act differently based on the fact that at the end of the day, they are dependents. And men will act differently, because they know they are independent.
So given the fact that financially independent women do not have kids at similar rates as financially dependent women, perhaps it is an important part of a relationship.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by watwut on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @04:18PM
(#33267443)
But very very common and very very strong reason to not be SAH. Because a lot of partners will have exactly that attitude, no matter how nice they were previously. And it will rub on your self-esteem.
Re:Remote work may have fueled a baby boom among U.S. women
by club_tropical on Wednesday October 19, 2022 @03:25PM
(#33266756)
> More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance.
And a disposable one at that!
Financial independence.
Anyone who thinks SAH parents can free themselves of this worry is naive. You never get the time back, you never get the experience back, you never get the training or the raises or the bonuses. You never get the retirement savings. If you are unfortunate enough to live in the US you are entirely dependent on your spouse for healthcare.
It's an unfathomably vulnerable situation to be in but it gets brushed off. There is still an attitude that SAH is a 'gift' given to a parent, see how often a working spouse will say they 'let' their partner stay at home, that the working partner 'supports' the family. A SAH spouse is not an equal partner with a 50% contribution. More of an oldest child with extra responsibilities and a higher allowance.
Pre-nups are often advocated as a way to ensure fairness if the relationship falls apart. I'd rather see pre-SAH legal documents. The SAH spouse gets half the earnings, gets half the purchases, gets half the retirement savings. A working spouse who isn't willing to sign it is a working spouse who doesn't believe that being home and watching children is a 'real' job.