I’m sorry to hear that. Look, I’m not sugarcoating this one: if you think you won’t break the loop, then you will be like that forever. Maybe lets start small by: reading a book (for me, Becoming Steve Jobs was the book that saved my life when I was unemployed), taking a walk everyday (helps you think and clear your head), spend time with close friends or family or partners or whoever believe in you. Good luck, and I’m on your side! The world doesn’t like underdogs like you and me, but we need not to accept that.