The Making Sense podcast episode with Russ Roberts[1] touched on these points with a reference to Charles Darwin who at some point made a pros/cons list of getting married. All the pros were rather boring practical things. Roberts argue that it was missing all the positive things that you don't see as a bystander (emotion based). The same goes for having children - you cant see the warm feeling inside that most parents still have for their kids despite all the hard work that is very visibile to others

[1] https://www.samharris.org/podcasts/making-sense-episodes/299...