It sounds like you're the one who is reacting poorly in this context. OP is describing exactly what you're talking about without being an asshole about it.

It really comes down to what you think of "...know that he was the boss and I'd do my best to accomplish anything he assigned me." To me that is... 20th century-style salaryman subservience, aka, super problematic and repulsive. The idea that the bosses' whim is your command is disgusting to me.

Yea maybe you’re the one reacting poorly by being an ass instead of trying to communicate in a healthy way.

This is literally the point of the OP by the way, most people aren’t out to get you, and can be convinced of things if you communicate respectfully. No one wants to work with someone who goes out of their way to tear them down.