I've thought about going down that path, and I still might, but at the moment I'm very frustrated by the state of hardware and general support for a lot of the user and privacy respecting options to the point where it's hard to believe it'll actually be worth my time to try to get something like that set up.

I want to be able to (among other things) order cabs and deposit checks using my smartphone, though. (Well, maybe not that last one, seeing as checks don’t exist here in the Netherlands anymore.)

Going back a decade in terms of functionality is hardly an answer.

Ironic nickname then :)

It definitely is an answer, since there haven't been any major advances in cellphones over the last 10 years, but it really depends on how much you actually hate advertising.

Why can't you call a cab with a dumb phone?

Just today my friend was telling me a story of the end of a night out in downtown LA, ready to go home to the west side when he realized that he was out of high speed data (he's on a legacy Verizon plan) and he might not have sufficient data speed to order an Uber. Apparently Uber worked just fine (probably a network "management" deal), but he was quite worried he wouldn't be able to get home if he couldn't order an Uber.

I did point out that it is in fact possible to order a cab using a telephone call.

Yes, if you have a taxi company phone number handy.

I hope we haven't reached the point where the average person is unable to find the number for common services.

Does 411 still operate? Cus it's not like there are phone booths with phone books in them anymore.