In Bangladesh, parents select men (90% of marriages are arranged) based on earning power/education, family reputation, and looks, in that order. American culture by contrast immerses women in this narrative that what’s important in a man is sense of humor, sensitivity, impulsive romanticism, etc. Indeed, American culture portrays women who prioritize the things that Bangladeshi moms tell their daughters to prioritize quite negatively.

This hurts women in two ways. First it makes them more likely to select shiftless men who will run out in their families to pursue their dreams of being YouTube stars. Second, by setting cultural expectations and incentives, it increases the supply of such men.

I read "shares taste in music" as "will have extensive common interests / be best friend".

When the narrative of "the one" breaks down, marriages dissolve. Children get custodial_parents -= 1.

I'm confident children are better off in two-parent households, but I also have plenty of friends who've gone through divorces, and not one of them fails to care for their children. It's just a mystifying thing for Rayiner to have said. Women have been sold a bill of goods, he claims, and as a result, men are abandoning their children. The tragedy of it all!

I'm also confident that servers are better off with passwordless SSH, but I know plenty of companies with passworded SSH who respond well to security concerns, and would in all cases be available and sincere in their attempts to prevent their infrastructure from being compromised.

Some times, one way is objectively better than another way. And yes it may be ego-bruising for those doing things the "less good" way, but we don't need to throat-clear so obnoxiously whenever these things are discussed.

I do think you should also take an honest approach to the valuable points Rayiner has made, here and elsewhere. Not everything is correct, but recently it seems like you're just jeering and nervously trying to change the subject when actual discussion of the issue would be uncomfortable for certain current orthodoxy.

In this case, American women (and men!) have been told, through the media, their peers, and reinforced through modern corporate culture, that behaving, acting, and expecting things in a certain way will make them happier. But that's not bearing out in reality. So are they being setting up for ego death, when reality doesn't match expectations, if the expectations are wholly unrealistic and perhaps even wrong?

Some divorced moms don't do a great job of letting the dad remain involved in a significant way. "Every other weekend" kind of thing. To the detriment of the children, sometimes.

I don't want to generalize, but that's a common narrative also. I have no direct experience.

Basically put, i think they're saying something along the lines of: The person that you have common interests with isn't necessarily the person you want to raise a family with. But that's what people are conditioned to focus on, rather than more practical things

Yes, the part where having unrealistic expectations of a partner can lead the end of a relationship is coherent, if obvious, The part where the women is left raising a child alone is neither.

It should also be obvious that maintaining two households is significantly more expensive than one. So excepting the cases where both parties reconstitute a household, these folks are on average poorer than their married counterparts in societies with minimal divorce. Further, the rate of failure to pay full child support in the US is high, like over 50%.