But Bitcoin has grown 700% despite your empty quip.

I don't think you understand the concept of a hedge. Bitcoin boomed at the same time as the stock market. It cratered at the same time as we fell into a bear market. That's the exact opposite of a hedge. That's a leveraged gamble.

I don't know much about finance, but don't you want something that everyone will want in a "rush to safety"? Safe is not the first word that comes to mind with Bitcoin

By all means, invest your life savings in Bitcoin for the next 700% percent rise. My "empty quip" is a bit of investing wisdom that has long been repeated on Wall Street.

I know I’ll get downvoted by bitcoin shills like you, but if you had bought bitcoin in Dec 2017, you would have lost money even after holding for 5 years.